Moving the Story Forward, a Post by R. Clint Peters

As previously reported, I was asked to edit the first two books published by my present publisher, The Alberta Connection and The Dakota Connection, two of the Ryce Dalton series.

The first thing I did was read the reviews for the Alberta Connection.  (The Dakota Connection hasn’t been released yet.)  Here are segments of three of the reviews (there were 115 reviews, with an average score of 3,2):

1)  “There is a decent story and plot here, but the author bores the reader with too much superfluous information and useless dialogue.” (2 stars)

2)  “Because I don’t usually read action stories and I loved this so much, I think it would be perfect for anyone who loves well written and thoroughly engaging tales.” (5 stars)

3)  “So you don’t know what anybody looks like and there are a lot of faceless people in this book.” (2 stars)

Obviously, I like #2 much more than #1 or #3, but there is a pattern here, reflected in what reviewer #1 concluded the review with:  This is a short story that the author extended into a novel by extending each two pages of plot into twenty pages with boring blather. 

The two 2-star reviews clearly sum up the minuses of the novel:  1)  The story doesn’t move along very well; and 2)  Who are the players, and why don’t I care about what happens to them?

In the past two weeks, I have edited my to page 38 and returned to page 1, and then edited my way to page 55 only to return to page 1 once again.  The 2015 version of The Alberta Connection has not been the easy edit I expected it to be.

Earlier today, when I got the idea for this post, I was editing The Alberta Connection at page 43.  However, the more I looked at what I had written a week ago, the more it appeared to be ‘filler’.

The story was moving along like molasses in Alaska in January.  And, I had introduced several important characters as stick figures, relegating them to the furniture pile in the corner.  Check out: STARS, FEATURED PLAYERS, AND FURNITURE, a Look at The Characters in Your Novel

The focus today is moving the story forward, which what I plan to do when I return to page 1 of The Alberta Connection.  But how?  Here are a few thoughts from Florence Osmond. You can find her suggestions at http://www.florenceosmund.com/new_author_writing_advice/moving_the_story_forward  (Blogmaster’s Note:  I have selected three ways.  You can refer to the original post for the others.)

Moving the Story Forward

Moving the story forward is arguably the most important and difficult aspect of good writing.  If someone tells you, “I couldn’t put the book down” or “It was a real page turner,” the author has been successful at moving the story forward in each chapter, paragraph and sentence.  Stories that effectively move forward keep the reader engrossed in the story and wanting to know what happens next.  There are several ways to accomplish this.

PACING

Most novels will be paced by creating a mix of action and slower scenes where the characters gather their thoughts.  But even action-packed thrillers need pacing, if for no other reason to give the reader a moment to breathe.

You can slow down the pace with longer dialogue, interior dialogue, backstory and more specific descriptions.  Pace can be sped up with shorter words, shorter sentences, alliteration and fast dialogue.  Mixing it up will add interest for the readers.

One mistake new writers often make is to spend too much time leading up to a specific piece of action.  If you delay the action too much by describing the suspense, the reader will be disappointed.  The longer it takes to get to the action, the more text readers will be tempted to skip over.

ESCALATION

Another way to keep the story moving forward is through escalation.  Creating a beginning (introduction, set-up), middle (tension, conflict, crisis), and end (resolution) in each scene, chapter and entire manuscript will help to move the story forward. (See my earlier blog post on this subject.)  Omitting any one of these three components will likely confuse the reader.  If a reader is forced to go back and re-read something, there’s a problem.

DIALOGUE

Effective dialogue will keep the reader interested in the story, but only if it’s meaningful.  If it doesn’t help to develop the character, establish the mood or depict what the character is feeling, omit it.

In most cases, idle chitchat will slow down the story.  One way to get around it is by disclosing the protagonist’s internal thoughts while the idle chitchat is going on. Example:  Sara’s thoughts drifted back to her son’s dilemma while she shook John’s hand and talked about the weather.

One final observation:  I have seen several book review organizations that refuse to publish reviews of less than 4 stars.  If the reviews I received for The Alberta Connection were all 4 or 5 stars, I wouldn’t know what mistakes had been made, and would not have the opportunity to become a better writer.  Members of the Book Review Group will have the opportunity to provide entirely honest reviews, even if they are only 1 or 2 stars.  I would rather know how bad I am writing, rather than think I was a new Steven King.

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