Is it Dialogue or is it Conversation?

When I discovered dialogue was a key to showing, I jumped in with both feet.  However, I think I might have jumped in the deep end instead of the shallow end.

I have been rewriting The Alberta Connection, based on the reviews I got of the book.  (The book has 117 reviews in its present state, but 19% got one star, and the average is only 3.2 stars, although 26% got 5 stars.)

When I looked at the reviews, the most common reason for a low review was a lack of identity in the characters….the readers just didn’t know anything about my heroes.

At first, I focused on detailing my characters, giving them more and more attributes.  I put a cowboy hat on one and Hawaiian shirts on another.  I attempted to make each character real, describing hair color, eyes, etc.

As I look back on some of the changes I made (I eliminated the filler details that were only taking up words, I gave the prime characters more personality) I discovered some of the changes were good, but some weren’t so good.  I have fleshed out some of the characters, have given them three dimensions, but my dialogue needs revision.  Here are the rules I plan to use:

1)  Limit the dialogue tags used.   According to Elmore Leonard, “said” or “asked” are the only dialogue tags needed, as in “Where do you want the sofa?” John asked.  He didn’t inquire.  He didn’t wonder.  He didn’t muse.  He just asked.

I’ve encountered many novels that used every possible tag found in a thesaurus.  You can do an Internet search to find a list of tags if you need a tag for each sentence of dialogue, but the writers on the top of the book world suggest using very few tags.  Tags become cumbersome and soon detract from the writing.

2)  Be careful when using dialogue without attributions.  If it’s clear that John is talking to Kevin, the names might not be necessary to retain clarity.  However, in a recent novel I read, I was compelled to back up several paragraphs to discover who was saying what.  Eventually, I just deleted the novel from my Kindle.

3)  Avoid long monologues.  Dialogue requires two people exchanging thoughts and words.  In an average conversation, two people will constantly interrupt each other or finish the other’s sentences.

4)  Pace the characters.  One character might be a slow speaker, the other rapid-fire; one character might be dominate, talking over other characters; one character might be the last to speak.

5)  Kill Adverbs.  A character “yelling loudly” doesn’t need to be loud, yelling is already loud.  The tone of the dialogue can convey more than an explanation point.

6)  Don’t intersperse short segments of action with dialogue, or dialogue with action.  The following from ‘How to Write Good Dialogue’ from The Noveldoctor explains it better than I could:

“A lot of newbie authors,” he began, turning to look her mascara-streaked face, “suffer from this malady.” He looked down. “They break up a single piece of dialogue,” he continued, “with so many little ‘asides’ that the reader gets whiplash.” He looked up into her eyes again. “Do you know what I mean?”

7)  Use dialects sparingly, if at all.  In one of my Internet excursions, I discovered the following in a blog:

Unless you grew up using the dialect you’re attempting to write, and all of your readers also grew up with that dialect, don’t use it.  Ever.  Dialects have rules that, unless you grew up with the dialect, you do not know.  One small mistake can offend an entire region.

8)  Contractions, contractions, contractions.  Most people do not say “do not”, they say “don’t”, unless it’s the butler in Windsor Castle.

Contractions are my most difficult editing problem.  I am constantly revisiting my writing to check out a missed “she’d” or “don’t”.

Finally, we’ll end on a suggestion from the noveldoctor:

How to Be a Better Writer (In Three Easy Steps)

October 5, 2014

Step 1. Read.

Step 2. Write.

Step 3. Go back to Step 1.

#RClintPeters #TheAuthorsClub