Hooking a Reader and Then Setting The Hook, a Post by R. Clint Peters

I recently posted a blog about fleshing out minor characters to make your novel more relevant to your readers.  Today’s blog is based on an article I discovered on The Writers’ Village blog (http://www.writers-village.org), the same blog I found out about minor characters.

The latest article was titled, How (Not) To Kill Your Story In Its Cradle.  You can read the complete article by using the above link.

The article, written by John Yeoman, focuses on the five primary mistakes writers make in not hooking the reader.  The mistakes are:

Mistake #1: A start that has too many characters

Mistake #2: A long-winded opener

Mistake #3: An opener that does not hint at the story’s genre

Mistake #4: Failure to introduce conflict at once

Mistake #5: Absence of characterization

I have pulled the first four paragraphs from my latest book, Pegasus Rising, a Nixon French novel, for the purpose of illustrating Mr. Yeoman’s points.

‘Randolph Nixon French pressed the power button on his laptop.  As he waited for it to warm up, he took a long sip from his strawberry milkshake and then chuckled.  Having an office next to the company cafeteria definitely had benefits.

‘When the computer had fully warmed up, he selected his email Inbox and clicked to open one special email.  The email, received while Nixon was the Chief of Police of Sanctuary City, Idaho, contained a fifteen-picture slideshow.  Nixon pressed start.

‘The first picture, taken from a long distance away, showed an unknown person in handcuffs hanging from a rope thrown over a tree limb.  Pictures 2 through 7 zoomed in on the person until he was recognizable as Dennis West, the brother of Sandi West-French, Nixon’s former wife.  Pictures 8 through 14 showed Dennis being lowered into a bubbling, steaming mud pot.  Nixon could almost hear the screams through the photos.  Picture 15 showed a frayed rope dangling perhaps a foot above the mud pot.

‘Nixon’s ritual every morning for the past three years consisted of a strawberry milkshake and a slide show.  He liked strawberry milkshakes but hated the slide show.  He planned to repeat the slideshow until his brother-in-law was confirmed dead, a difficult proposition if Dennis had actually been lowered into a mud pot.  The only item remaining would be the stainless steel handcuffs.  Moreover, the only location Nixon was aware of mud pots was Yellowstone National Park.’

I have used my book as an example of the mistakes, and what should not be done to make them.

Mistake #1 — Too many characters.

In Pegasus Rising, I have introduced three characters, one of which is quite obviously dead.  Mr. Yeoman suggests a good opening involves one or two main players.

Mistake #2 — A Long winded opener

My introduction is 242 words.  Those 242 words introduce the hero of the story, Nixon French.  They also introduce Nixon’s purpose, to find out how and where his brother-in-law died.

Mistake #3, #4 and #5

Those 242 words also provide the reader with the genre (action/adventure), introduce a conflict (someone being lowered into an acid mud pot), and tell us a little about Nixon, even if it is only that he likes strawberry milkshakes.

Does the story have a hook in the first few paragraphs?  I think it does.  When I asked someone to read the first chapter, the result was an emphatic ‘yuck’.  But, it also resulted in a quick flip to the back of the book to find out more about Dennis.

Here are a few more of Mr. Yeoman’s comments, not in any particular order:

Don’t bring in a cast of thousands or tell the whole history of Renaissance Florence before the action begins.

As noted previously, Pegasus Rising, a Nixon French novel, starts out with three characters.

Keep your introduction short. The best opening lines are no longer than a tweet on Twitter, say, 140 characters at most. And they pose a question.

The first two paragraphs of Pegasus Rising are composed of 81 words.  And the obvious question to ask is what is in the slide show Nixon has been watching?

Slip into your minor characters and details of back story naturally, a fragment here and there, as the story proceeds. Limit the cast list at the start!

We know a little more about Nixon from the first four paragraphs.  He’s single, he used to be a police chief, and Dennis died three years earlier.  The foundation has been laid for intrigue.

The most commercial way to open a story is to work conflict into the very first page.

Does being lowered into a mud pot qualify as conflict?  I hope it does.

When I fist started reading John D. MacDonald’s Travis McGee series, I was invariably hooked before I got past the first page.  That is the same results I want from my own novels, someone who is hooked on the first page.  The hook is set when the reader can’t put the book down.

My goal as writer is for my readers to feel as if my characters are someone they know or they have met, someone who lives down the street, someone they ride to work with every morning.

I want my readers to bond with my characters.  And, as Mr. Yeoman suggests, they must become best friends with my characters very quickly.

#BestPracticesforWriting #RClintPeters